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#814274 - 07/08/08 10:57 AM
Avoiding hatred -- should I, and how?
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spray'prentice
Registered: 07/27/06
Posts: 2997
TRs: 11
Photos: 47
Loc: Seattle, WA
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Recently I've gotten myself in a situation in which someone who was once close to me has done and continues to do so many hurtful things to me and my children that I find it hard not to hate them. I was raised thinking that hatred is bad (mmm kay?), so it's sort of a natural reaction for me to try not to. But it's hard, when these feelings feel so natural. I've never really felt like this before about someone, so it's kind of new to me.
Couple of questions: What's so bad about hating someone, anyway? Why should I be trying so hard not to? Isn't it a natural emotion just like everything else? Is it even possible to not feel an emotion that you're feeling? It's all just chemicals, anyway.
And, what in the world do you do to not hate someone? Trying to not hate someone is like trying to not love someone.
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American Hero
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#814290 - 07/08/08 11:28 AM
Re: Avoiding hatred -- should I, and how?
[Re: Jake Porter]
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spray'prentice
Registered: 07/27/06
Posts: 2997
TRs: 11
Photos: 47
Loc: Seattle, WA
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do I need bed peace before hair peace, or is it the other way around?
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American Hero
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#814291 - 07/08/08 11:29 AM
Re: Avoiding hatred -- should I, and how?
[Re: rob]
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☼☼☼☼☼☼☼
Registered: 09/19/03
Posts: 17717
TRs: 30
Photos: 640
Loc: In Love with You
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#814294 - 07/08/08 11:33 AM
Re: Avoiding hatred -- should I, and how?
[Re: Jake Porter]
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spray'prentice
Registered: 07/27/06
Posts: 2997
TRs: 11
Photos: 47
Loc: Seattle, WA
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but I want money
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American Hero
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#814295 - 07/08/08 11:33 AM
Re: Avoiding hatred -- should I, and how?
[Re: rob]
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veteran
Registered: 04/24/06
Posts: 1419
TRs: 8
Photos: 54
Loc: Issaquah
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Recently I've gotten myself in a situation in which someone who was once close to me has done and continues to do so many hurtful things to me and my children that I find it hard not to hate them. I was raised thinking that hatred is bad (mmm kay?), so it's sort of a natural reaction for me to try not to. But it's hard, when these feelings feel so natural. I've never really felt like this before about someone, so it's kind of new to me.
Couple of questions: What's so bad about hating someone, anyway? Why should I be trying so hard not to? Isn't it a natural emotion just like everything else? Is it even possible to not feel an emotion that you're feeling? It's all just chemicals, anyway.
And, what in the world do you do to not hate someone? Trying to not hate someone is like trying to not love someone. Rob - I think you ultimately need to get yourself to a place where you realize that not hating this person is in YOUR (and your kids) best interest - your decision not to hate this person is not for this person's benefit. Odds are that your kids are already being hurt by this persons actions, and to the extent that a hateful mindset drives actions/attitudes of anger in your life, they are the recipients of more collateral damage. Also, I've found that for me, harboring resentment poisons my own quality of life in other spheres. Choosing not to hate is not about letting a person off the hook who deserves to be treated poorly based on their actions/attitudes. Rather, it's being mature enough to recognize that returning hate with hate does more damage to you and your kids than simply letting go.
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#814316 - 07/08/08 12:15 PM
Re: Avoiding hatred -- should I, and how?
[Re: Jake Porter]
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sprayer
Registered: 09/25/06
Posts: 8784
TRs: 49
Photos: 0
Loc: ked in a fragrant embrace
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Hating rots the soul. Then, when you go to uncage it, it really reeks.
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King of All the Ass Candles
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#814428 - 07/08/08 01:40 PM
Re: Avoiding hatred -- should I, and how?
[Re: G-spotter]
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Pooh-Bah
Registered: 11/13/00
Posts: 2182
TRs: 15
Photos: 149
Loc: freshiez!
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just register as a republican and let the hate flow my brother. the promise keepers will protect you and your children.
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chriswinter.blogspot.com
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#814434 - 07/08/08 01:46 PM
Re: Avoiding hatred -- should I, and how?
[Re: Winter]
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spray'prentice
Registered: 07/27/06
Posts: 2997
TRs: 11
Photos: 47
Loc: Seattle, WA
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could I turn it into a lucrative talk radio career? Don't I have to stop having sex if I register as a republican? 
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American Hero
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#814439 - 07/08/08 01:49 PM
Re: Avoiding hatred -- should I, and how?
[Re: rob]
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sprayer
Registered: 10/21/02
Posts: 8414
TRs: 0
Photos: 24
Loc: out running with scissors
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yes, that's why they can reach the hate stage. maybe you need to be gettting laid even more often to solve this problem
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The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off
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#814451 - 07/08/08 01:55 PM
Re: Avoiding hatred -- should I, and how?
[Re: minx]
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spray'prentice
Registered: 07/27/06
Posts: 2997
TRs: 11
Photos: 47
Loc: Seattle, WA
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I wonder if I could combine climbing and sex? Has anybody ever explored this? Someone should make a video.
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American Hero
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#814454 - 07/08/08 01:58 PM
Re: Avoiding hatred -- should I, and how?
[Re: rob]
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sprayer
Registered: 10/21/02
Posts: 8414
TRs: 0
Photos: 24
Loc: out running with scissors
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yes i think the combo would help relieve the angst you're feeling. please submit a home video and TR
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The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off
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#814462 - 07/08/08 02:02 PM
Re: Avoiding hatred -- should I, and how?
[Re: minx]
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sprayer
Registered: 04/23/04
Posts: 9551
TRs: 14
Photos: 85
Loc: Above Treeline
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yes i think the combo would help relieve the angst you're feeling. please submit a home video and TR you want a video of rob and tvash bumpin' uglies?
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Obama deserves the same respect and support from his opponents as Bush's opponents showed him.
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#814468 - 07/08/08 02:05 PM
Re: Avoiding hatred -- should I, and how?
[Re: KaskadskyjKozak]
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spray'prentice
Registered: 07/27/06
Posts: 2997
TRs: 11
Photos: 47
Loc: Seattle, WA
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yes i think the combo would help relieve the angst you're feeling. please submit a home video and TR you want a video of rob and tvash bumpin' uglies? whatever, my shit ain't ugly. I'm well trimmed.
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American Hero
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#814482 - 07/08/08 02:11 PM
Re: Avoiding hatred -- should I, and how?
[Re: rob]
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sprayer
Registered: 12/20/01
Posts: 9990
TRs: 36
Photos: 305
Loc: free range
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I wonder if I could combine climbing and sex? Has anybody ever explored this? Someone should make a video. clucker
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Bagging a cougar is one of the most enjoyable sporting feats a young man can accomplish
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#814489 - 07/08/08 02:16 PM
Re: Avoiding hatred -- should I, and how?
[Re: G-spotter]
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sprayer
Registered: 04/23/04
Posts: 9551
TRs: 14
Photos: 85
Loc: Above Treeline
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I wonder if I could combine climbing and sex? Has anybody ever explored this? Someone should make a video. clucker wow, glad you cleared that up for us... nobody figured out that reference! 
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Obama deserves the same respect and support from his opponents as Bush's opponents showed him.
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#814531 - 07/08/08 02:39 PM
Re: Avoiding hatred -- should I, and how?
[Re: ericb]
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sprayer
Registered: 10/21/02
Posts: 8414
TRs: 0
Photos: 24
Loc: out running with scissors
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Don't I have to stop having sex if I register as a republican? Only with women unless they're hookers
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The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off
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#814603 - 07/08/08 04:03 PM
Re: Avoiding hatred -- should I, and how?
[Re: minx]
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old hand
Registered: 06/22/06
Posts: 700
TRs: 1
Photos: 34
Loc: Canada, eh
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Instead of hate, you should pity this fellow...clearly he got messed up somewhere along the way.
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Day time friend and night time lover
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#814968 - 07/09/08 10:50 AM
Re: Avoiding hatred -- should I, and how?
[Re: KaskadskyjKozak]
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spray'prentice
Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 2807
TRs: 10
Photos: 19
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Hating takes too much effort. If you really hate something/someone, you have to make it a point to do things to destroy that person/thing; mean, spiteful things like shitting in mailboxes and killing pets.
I don't think you have it in you.
You are probably having feelings of "strong dislike" and confusing them for hate.
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Striving for mediocrity
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#814969 - 07/09/08 10:51 AM
Re: Avoiding hatred -- should I, and how?
[Re: fenderfour]
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spray'prentice
Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 2807
TRs: 10
Photos: 19
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p.s. that metallica song sucks ass.
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Striving for mediocrity
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