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Cereal Preference


carolyn

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Finally a thread on which I have expert knowledge. I have supplied my expert testimony on other forums and will do so again here.

 

GoLean Crunch is pretty much crack cocaine. I can go through a whole box in one sitting, no problem. Unfortunately, I will be shitting hay bales the next day.

 

Kashi "Good Friends" Cinnamon Raisin - Delicious, but your "good friends" will be a roll of 2-ply and a plunger. This mixture is more at home in a feedbag than in a cereal bowl.

 

Cracklin Oat Bran - This "cereal" is actually candy put into a cereal box. Outstanding with skim milk, a downright confection with 2%.

 

Kellogg's Allbran - Don't even touch this stuff. Rocket Fuel. Lincoln logs taste better.

 

Cheerios - Oldy but very goody with sugar and a banana.

 

I will be back with more later.

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I cook oat groats (real, whole grain oats, not rolled or cracked or otherwise adulterated). Before going to bed, put the oats in a thermos and add boiling water. Also add cinnamon and brown sugar. In the morning you have soft oatmeal (still a bit chewier than the 5 minutes oats your probably used to). Put it in the microwave for 30 seconds to bring it back to piping hot. So its just like instant oatmeal but way more healthy and filling; probably your whole days worth of vitamins and fibre. And a whole lot cheaper than those acrylamide-filled processed cereals. A fried organic, free-run egg makes a good chaser.

 

Having said that, I also keep a box of Raisin Bran in the pantry for when that acrylamide craving hits.

 

 

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"Puffins" cereal - I have yet to figure out how puffins are related to this product. $5 for a box of organic air is not a good deal.

 

Golden grahams - an incredible experience. this is what cereal is all about. Can get a little old after the first 2 lbs and hallucinations set in after the 4th bowl.

 

Cinnamon toast crunch - should be a prescription drug. It's about the right price.

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Peace Cereals Raspberry Ginger - This is a fantastic cereal loaded with sugar, yet you feel good about it because you are apparently contibuting to "peace" with every spoonful. I've pretty much solved the arab-israeli conflict the past few weeks, all while getting my fiber. Too bad you have to stare at some yogi smirking back at you on the box while you eat it.

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Fav's:

 

Rice, Corn, Wheat, or any mix of Chex or that other brand thats hexagonal (as opposed to the square chex's) w/ rice milk.

 

Any plain granola with soy yogurt (I like real yogurt better, but so do the bacteria in my lower GI and those guy's can really wreak havoc on my day)

 

Cheerios w/ strawberries. Of course, with rice milk.

 

No one's mentioned ColonBlow?

http://thetravisty.com/Saturday_Night_Live/mov/Colon_Blow.htm

 

 

 

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There's one at Trader Joes called "Optimum Power" Flax or something like that. Bland blue box. It has flax and a few blueberries. Twigs, flakes and blueberries. It sure looks like it's healthy, but it tastes great.

 

I love this stuff and call it "Optimum Poop" or just plain "Poop cereal" because of the ungodly amount of fiber per serving (18 grams?).

 

I also love Kashi Autumn Wheat. Like frosted mini-wheats, but better.

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I bought some Westbrae Amaranth (secret grain of the Inca) Flakes once. They literally tasted like blown insulation. THE worst breakfast I've ever had. I wrote a letter to them stating as much and they sent me a free sample pack of some of their other products, including some cookies that were great.

 

One word: Alphabets.

 

 

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There is really only one cereal, Kellogg's Raisin Bran. This was originally discovered on one of Cap'n Crunch's voyages to "Cereal Isle" and subsequently imported by air via Toucan Sam. Others have been instrumental in its journey to national prominence, as well. The creation of the "Cereal Aisle" and marketing of imitation products based on related characters has really diluted the market and confused many as to what "cereal" really is. Strive for the truth.

 

I don't know about Raisin Bran. I suppose if you like the feeling of having a tunnel boring machine trying to make it's way out of your abdomen via the quickest possible route, go for it. And don't even think of coffee, unless you enjoy having breakfast on the shitter. You just can't run that fast.

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I don't know about Raisin Bran. I suppose if you like the feeling of having a tunnel boring machine trying to make it's way out of your abdomen via the quickest possible route, go for it. And don't even think of coffee, unless you enjoy having breakfast on the shitter. You just can't run that fast.

 

How many Guinness do you have for breakfast?

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There's one at Trader Joes called "Optimum Power" Flax or something like that. Bland blue box. It has flax and a few blueberries. Twigs, flakes and blueberries. It sure looks like it's healthy, but it tastes great.

 

I love this stuff and call it "Optimum Poop" or just plain "Poop cereal" because of the ungodly amount of fiber per serving (18 grams?).

 

I also love Kashi Autumn Wheat. Like frosted mini-wheats, but better.

 

Autumn Wheat is good stuff.

 

The optimum power/zen stuff is like taking an alder thicket from the picket range and putting it into a bowl.

 

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Grape Nuts - Whether you are looking for nourishment or supplies for the next home improvement project, Grape Nuts (aka pea gravel) delivers. Combined with milk, Grape Nuts competes with industrial concrete after approx. 5 minutes. Budding engineers can be seen building replicas of the Aswan high dam in their bowls, holding back a huge reservoir of milk on which to water ski, etc. This is followed by the obligatory "disaster" where the dam breaks and the milk spills in to kill all the poor farmers who were displaced by the dam's construction.

 

Needless to say, Grape Nuts can be a great source of energy in the morning, and if you can't finish them all, they make a great spackle for the bathroom.

 

You simply can't beat Grape Nuts for weight/volume ratio. I tried to sneak out a backpack full in college and just barely made it out of the dining hall before the straps ripped out.

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